


I lived alone but I was only coming back to you

by buckybunnyteeth



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Consequences of Time Travel, Dorks in Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, after Flash Back, altered timeline, episode; s2e17 Flash Back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:56:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybunnyteeth/pseuds/buckybunnyteeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry comes back to the present after traveling back in time and good Hartley isn't the only new thing in the altered timeline, turns out he is Cisco's boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I lived alone but I was only coming back to you

“Say yes. Open your eyes, see that it's me, and say yes.”  
― Kelly Moran, Exposure

 

Barry likes to think he’s pretty adaptable, can roll with the unexpected better than most. So he rolls with the whole Hartley is a good guy thing with a little bit of stumbling. His stomach flips a bit when he realizes that he doesn’t have those new altered memories of the last year with Hartley and his change of … heart. 

Cool. Not the weirdest thing that ever happened to him. See; Gorilla Grodd and King Shark.

But it’s after that that Barry’s metaphorical stumble turns into a full on trip.

Cisco asks to see him in the hallway while Caitlin wanders off to finish some tests. 

“I was really worried about you, man,” Cisco says with a soft smile when they are alone.

“Yeah, about that. I don’t know if I should tell you but-”

Barry cuts off when Cisco’s hands come up and cup his face. He watches the other man smile softly up at him before he leans forwards and seals their lips together in a kiss.

Barry jerks back slightly in shock and time slows down, or rather he speeds up. He watches in slow motion as Cisco’s eyes open and a look of shocked hurt creeps into them. He feels his fingers start to leave his face, sees him start to step back from Barry and well. It hurts something in his chest, seeing Cisco like this. Makes something in him panic and ache to fix the situation so he never has to see that look in Cisco’s eyes again.

So Barry adapts.

Before Cisco can pull away completely Barry cups his face and presses their lips back together in a soft, slow, kiss. 

And- well it’s weird because he is kissing Cisco. Known each other for just over two years, became best bros in two minutes and quote Star Trek to each other, Cisco. It’s weird

And it’s equally as weird that it’s not weird at all. It’s weird that kissing Cisco feels like finally getting home. Like taking your pants off after a long day, in the most romantic way possible, but also has an underlying spark that tingles on Barry’s lips like a promise. It makes him shiver, which is also weird and not weird at the same time. 

Cisco makes a soft noise and leans in closer, mouth opening enticingly under Barry’s. It makes his breath hitch, makes him want to get closer, press against Cisco- and, what? Where is this coming from? 

Barry doesn’t know if his head is spinning from the kiss or his reeling mind. Maybe both?

Cisco pulls away after a long, long, moment and smiles softly up at Barry.

“Sorry,” he says with a laugh, “I just- the whole time travel thing had me a little worried.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Barry says without thinking, “I’m fine though.”

Cisco’s smile blooms into a grin.

“Yeah. I knew you would be, dude.”

He punches Barry in the shoulder lightly and just like that Barry is grinning too. 

“You should probably go back and let Caitlin check you over some more. I’ll see you later though, right?”

“Yeah, yeah totally. Wh-what for again?”

Cisco snorts.

“You’ve got time brain, dude. Good thing I put that reminder on your phone!”

“Oh- oh yeah. Thanks for that.”

Cisco beams at him and presses a kiss to his check before leaving in the direction of his workshop. Leaving Barry alone in the silent corridor with his screaming mind.

“What just happened?” He asks himself, fingers coming up to press against his still tingling lips.

 

Barry forgoes going to see Caitlin again in favor of zipping across town to jitters, so he can wrap his hands around a hot coffee while he figures out just what the hell is going on.

He plunks down in one of the arm chairs by the window, which seem to be knew but he can’t figure out if it’s his fault that they are, and takes out his phone. His phone which is a slightly different model than it had been before he went back. That’s interesting. 

He flips through his messages first. He’s exchanges several hundred with Cisco, but from about three weeks ago every now and then between the emoji landslides, the crime related ones and the nerd references, there are now a scattering of flirty texts. 

He checks his calendar, hoping new him still dawdles in cleaning out his marked dates, and finds that Friday three weeks ago is marked with; first date with Cisco. Scrolling back to today he finds it marked with; I’m making you dinner tonight dingus. It makes him smile and he doesn’t quite understand why. 

The rest of the calendar is filled with similar annotations. His eyes catch on one from the previous Saturday; Star Trek marathon and pizza #romantic.

With a sigh Barry shoves his phone back into his pocket and sits back in his seat. He just needs to process this whole thing.

Fact; when Barry made the choice to mess with the timeline several things were changed. 

Fact; He has no recollection of the new timeline created. 

Though it seems he still defeated Eobard. Still dated Patty. Still went to Earth-2 and rescued Jesse. Still found out Jay wasn’t who he said he was. As far as he can tell most of the actions he took over the last few months played out the same way.

Fact; sometime in the last few weeks he and Cisco started dating.

Barry scrubs a hand down his face. Somehow he is dating his best friend. He wishes he had someone to ask if this is a normal consequence of messing around with time travel. Maybe Oliver has Rip Hunter on speed dial?

And.

And the thing is Barry feels more confused, more conflicted than he ever has in his life.

It’s not that Cisco is a guy, Barry has always registered his attraction to men since he was a teenager. He may never have found an opportunity to pursue those attractions, but they have always been present. 

It’s not even the fact that it’s Cisco specifically. I mean have you seen the guy? He’s so beautiful, so bright, that it has always made Barry’s breath catch even when he had no desire to be with him. 

It’s the fact that he has no recollection of what led up to being with Cisco. Has no memory of the crush that comes before the dating, the warmth in his chest that comes with the anticipation of liking this person. He has no memory of the dates he has supposedly been on, the way that they are together in that setting. 

He has no memory of- 

Of falling in love. 

Because Barry falls hard and fast and keeps it to himself. He is probably well on the way to being in love with Cisco. Or would be. If he could remember their actual relationship.

 _Oh my god._

_My life is a Rachel McAdams movie_. 

Barry scrubs a hand down his face at the realization.

He doesn’t know what to do. He could break things off with Cisco, but the thought of doing that makes something so utterly horrible twist in his stomach.

But the alternative is continuing to be with Cisco. And is that right, ethically? Wouldn’t that be taking advantage of Cisco? Barry doesn’t even know if he is mentally technically the same person he was during the altered time line. Dose Cisco want to be with the Barry he is now, would it be wrong to be with him without him knowing that something so big has changed? 

Oh my god. What if they’ve already had sex and Barry doesn’t remember? What if alternate timeline him was better at sex than he is? Rachel McAdams doesn’t have to put up with this.

And beyond all of that the biggest question is; if he stays with Cisco, is it out of pity or friendship or some kind of hope that given time he will feel the way he felt before?

Barry is startled out of his thoughts when Iris drops down in the chair across from him. He instantly remembers running out on a family dinner and wonders if that was still a thing that happened in this timeline. Probably not if Iris is at Jitters instead of at home recovering from a meatloaf overdose.

“I know that look,” She says with a sharp smile but soft eyes, “Barry Allen is having a break down.”

“Hi, what? No I’m not.”

“Sure you’re not. You’re just holding onto that cold coffee for dear life because you’re completely stable right now.”

Barry suddenly remembers the video message he has for her and realizes that he will have to show her it tomorrow if he wants to make his date. His date that is with Cisco. His Cisco date. Yeah.

“I-” he stumbles over his words and decides to be honest, “I just feel like I’m losing time.”

Iris sighs and places a hand on his knee. It doesn’t make his heart speed in the way it used to, but the warmth brings him comfort. 

“Listen Barry,” she says with a sigh that means she is about to get something off of her chest, “I know we haven’t been talking over the last week or so-”

This is brand new information.

“-but I want you to know I’m sorry and that I’m not mad. I am actually really happy for you. ”

“Yeah- yeah of course I know that.”

I think?

“I was just- it was irrational. I thought that you and I shared everything, and to find out that you are attracted to men and dating Cisco in the same five minutes … it made me mad to think that you were keeping a part of you hidden from me.”

So he was dating Cisco for a while before Iris knew. Good time line establishing data. Barry wonders exactly how she found out and then thinks maybe he doesn’t want to know. 

“I wasn’t hiding anything from you, Iris,” he says softly with a smile, hoping his words are honest, “It just was never something that was relevant, and when it was-“

“You wanted to keep Cisco to yourself for a while,” she teases him lightly, “I know. I already said it was irrational. I just want you to know it wasn’t for any Bi-phobic reason. It was my irrational friendship brain that was in control then.”

“I know that, you don’t have to apologize.”

Iris grins and draws back to take a sip of coffee. 

“You two are super adorable together, by the way,” she continues, full on teasing now, “I haven’t seen a five on the happy Barry scale for some time.”

“Happy Barry what?”

“C’mon, Bear,” she laughs, kicking his leg lightly with her foot, “You know what I mean! It’s when you’re most happy to see someone that you do that little bounce thing while you grin your face off. On a scale of zero to five you are always off the meter when you’re with Cisco. At least, according to my daily reports from Dad.”

“Really?” Barry says suddenly breathless.

“Oh yeah. He is like head over heels for you,” she says with a grin, “and as a Barry Allen expert I can say with confidence that you’re pretty gone for him as well.”

Barry takes a deep breath, mind reeling with everything she just said, and makes himself go ‘slow’ again. The people around him seem to freeze, movements almost completely dropping away as he takes a moment to think. To really honestly think.

He thinks about Cisco. He picture his face in his mind, his smile, his laugh, the way he sasses people with a lollipop in his mouth. He thinks about the way he was there with Barry every step of the way after he woke up from the coma, even when Barry tried to push him away. Thinks about how he is the voice in Barry’s ear, how he always has his back to the point where he was willing to die rather than tell Snart his secret identity. He thinks about how Cisco always manages a build a way to catch him when he falls. How he’s always there, and how he honestly doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

Reality returns to normal speed as a warmth spreads through his veins and his stomach flips in that oh so familiar way. 

He loves Cisco. Honestly and strongly, no matter what he can or can’t remember. He loves Cisco. And maybe that’s all that matters. 

“I gotta go,” Barry announces, startling iris, and getting halfway out of his chair before he remembered something, “Oh, uh, are you still going out with that guy? Your boss?”

Iris squints at him.

“Yes?”

“I know you feel guilty and scared and a thousand other things,” Barry says to her softly, “but only you can tell when you’re ready to move on. Just listen to your heart. It always seems to steer you in the right direction.”

Iris smiles up at him, eyes a little teary.

“Ditto.”

They share a smile for a moment before Barry leaps up from his seat and runs out the door. After all, he has a date to get too.

 

Barry is at Cisco’s door in five minutes. He would have been there sooner but he stopped on the way to buy him a big bag of lollipops. 

Cisco opens the door and Barry feels his breath catch in his throat. Cisco is wearing sweatpants and a baggy, too short shirt that hasn’t been hemmed so it rolls up to revel a sliver of his stomach. And it’s got the flash logo in the center. 

Catch in the throat, flip of the stomach, mild sense of awe. Yep. Barry’s got it bad. 

“You’re early,” Cisco laughs with a bright smile.

“What, really?”

“First time for everything right?”

Barry laughs and Cisco haves him inside the apartment. 

“If I’da known you weren’t going to be ten minutes late I would have gotten dressed.”

“I don’t mind,” Barry reassures him, eyes glued to the light fabric of the back of Cisco’s sweat pants.

“It’s not really the done thing to show up to a date in your nap clothes.”

“I could zip home and get my pj’s. We could have a slumber party.”

“Yeah, you could braid my hair and eat all my ice cream.”

He throws a look over his shoulder just to roll his eyes at Barry.

Cisco leads him into the kitchen where a series of pans and pots are sizzling away. He watches as Cisco walks up to the stove and immediately takes control, face serious as he stirs this and flips that. It makes an irresistible urge build up inside him. So he gladly gives in. 

He walks up behind his boyfriend, leans his forehead onto his shoulder and slips his hands around under the hem of his shirt to rest on his stomach. Cisco chuckles at him and leans back into his chest. Barry wonders if he has done this before. If the fizzy feeling in his stomach is familiar too him instead of new and wonderfully weird. 

“Two minutes to stir-fry and chips.”

Barry hums and presses his nose against the exposed skin on Cisco’s shoulder.

“You okay, dude?”

“Hmmm. Yeah. Just…”

“Time travel?”

“Time travel,” he agrees.

“You didn’t do anything to screw up the time line did you?” Cisco asks turning around in Barry’s arms to raise an eyebrow at him, “Like you didn’t affect anything that will make a bunch of time wraiths come after our asses or anything did you?”

Barry feels a soft, besotted smile slip across his face, the last thing he was waiting on slipping easily into place in his chest.

“Nothing‘s changed for the worse, I swear.”

Before Cisco can ask what he means by that Barry leans forwards and slots their mouths together is a slow, deep kiss. Cisco makes a noise against his lips and steps closer to him, his hands slipping around his waist and up under his shirt. The warm press of their skin makes Barry shiver. They stay like that for a while, languidly kissing and chasing after the electric feel of the contact. 

They separate when the smoke alarm starts screaming.

“Shoot!” Cisco snaps, running to put out the flames of what was their dinner, “Oh my god, that’s the second time that’s happened, man!”

Barry laughs at his boyfriend. _His_ boyfriend.

“I could run and get some Thai?”

“Oh, you’d better.”

“Okay, I’ll-”

“Wait.”

Cisco stops him at the doorway, pulling his head down and into a searing kiss.

“There,” Cisco announces when they break apart with a gasp, “All set.”

Okay, Barry might have to revise this whole thing because Cisco Ramon is going to be the death of him. In the best way possible.

Cisco slaps him on the butt before he zips out the door, and Barry laughs all the way to the Thai place. 

He likes this new timeline. A lot.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this random idea after the ep and it hasn't left me alone so here you go.


End file.
